Why Empathy

Universally, childre, and human beings in general, desire to share with others what they experience, whether for children its something they discovered in the garden, or for adults the latest book they are reading or podcast they are listening to. This sharing impulse is a universal part of the human condition.

Of course, if we then share with others but they fail to connect with us, we may feel rejected or alone. Human beings need others to listen. The paradox is that we need others to listen, but no one shares the exact same experience or perspective to exactly identify with what we experience.

But even without similar interests or similar experience, human beings can still attempt to connect with what another human being's experiences. This is the empathetic impulse.

Empathy is a complex skill. Connecting with what another human being experiences without having experienced it for oneself is difficult. It requires a rich imagination, analogizing from one's current experiences, and persistence. The farther one's experience is from what is being shared, the more difficult and the more effort that is required to connect.

"For many years my heart demanded a crystal ball from us
And desired from a stranger what itself had."
(Hafez)

Connection is necessary. We all need others to connect with us when we share, and thus we need to put in the effort to listen when others need us.

Empathizing with another's interests or concerns when they don't align with our own is an act of learning. We need to learn about that interest or concern, and understand within ourselves what makes that interest or concern resonate.

The desire to empathize is to desire to see what another person sees. Empathy then becomes a creed: we should always endeavor to perceive what others do. If others can see, we can as well.

"The pretender wanted to come to the scene of the mystery
The hand of the unseen came and he was denied."
(Hafez)

We believe it is only the student himself, through practice, that can observe himself and know himself well enough to know what he needs. It is the student who must know why he is learning, and to take action consistent with that intention.

Educators do not have the resources or time to know where all of their students lie on their respective learning journeys. But educators do have the time to help their students learn to ask the appropriate questions of themselves.

Up until now, instead of helping students learn to be conscious of themselves as learners, educators have designed curriculum to manage learning on the students' behalf. But to attempt to systematize learning is to dehumanize it. Human beings are not robots. Learning must be a passionate activity.

"Listen to this reed tell its story
How it complains of separation."
(Rumi)

Students have a natural predisposition for certain subjects over others. That predisposition manifests on two levels. First, in the ease in which the student internalizes the subject. And second, and more importantly, in the attraction the student has for the subject. The receptacle within the self for that particular subject is active, and the student naturally, passionately pursues the material.

But all students are not predisposed to all subjects -- students are naturally "weaker" in certain areas over others. This weakness manifests in an initial lack of attraction the student has for the subject.

One role of the teacher is to promote the inner beauty of the subject. If promoted well enough, the inner breath of the subject can be felt by all students. But that breeze of attraction is not permanent. It comes along only occasionally.

Once the breeze of atrraction towards the subject has been felt and then dissipates, a feeling of separation emerges where students are interested in feeling that breeze and again and again. Love has emerged. They now have the intention necessary for learning.

Of what use to you is a natural rose? Take a leaf from my [book titled] Rose Garden.
A rose may last for five or six days, but this garden is always fresh.
(Sa'di)

Books play a central role in enacting the empathetic impulse. We need not necessarily be physically present with someone in order to empathetically connect to his humanity. Through the written word, we can connect with someone who is not physically present with us but yet, through the book, remains onmnipresent. Books, along with our own empathetic imagination, help solve the problem of never being able to know enough people.

But in order to get the most out of books, we have to know how to read. We don't have someone who can check for us whether we truly understand. So we as students and readers have to learn to be conscious, active readers.

We need to learn to read, and re-read sentences that at first we don't understand. We need to learn to check the implications of our understanding, to confirm our understanding is consistent with the author's. We have to learn to constantly be on guard, since the easiest person to fool is oneself.

We have to learn to slow down and read slowly and thoroughly. To desire to empathize is to diligently attempt to connect with others. Proper reading connects with the empathetic imagination by helping us slow down and authentically connect.

Reading is a central skill in Conscious Learning. A friend may not always be physically present and forgiving of our ignorance, but a book is omnipresent. As Sa'di said, a book is always fresh, and can be a continuous source of wisdom.

In the road of his love place a foot if you are with a guide
Necessarily in love one will both know and now know.
(Attar)

Love is a fragile emotion. One of the ways that our newly found love for a subject can be extinguished is through frustration with the journey. We will often find ourselves tossed around by doubt at whether we are able to take the next step. We will encounter problems on our journey that will knock us down, and that we feel unable to solve.

As Attar states, on the journey we will always both know and not know. In our state of not knowing, we are not without help. Guides, both physically present or with us through books, are available to help.

But guides are not sufficient. An important lesson in Conscious Learning is to learn to embrace the state of not knowing, rather than fear it. Being conscious of one's lack of knowledge is the critical realization for then attempting to resolve that deficiency and desiring to gain knowledge.

Without the frown of the dark clouds and lightning
The vines would burn by the smiling rays of the sun
(Rumi)

The learner, due to his lack of knowledge, may struggle. The love he may have had for the subject may diminish. He learns the important lesson that love can be fragile.

But he must also learn that any authentic journey of love, is coupled with the necessity for struggle. As Rumi states, any authentic journey for love is also difficult. Through authentic struggle, love re-emerges.

Love and struggle present themselves as a duality. As the prominent education theorist Seymour Papert stated, we must teach students to seek what he called "hard fun". Hard fun is the most rewarding kind of fun, because authentic love is constantly renewed through one's own volition. Conscious learning helps students embrace the duality of love and struggle.

(Understanding the terrain)

When students are not conscious learners, others can and must monitor and manipulate the student cognitively. The school uses curriculum to manage and monitor instruction, but with disappointing results. Media companies manipulate students by hijacking control of the learning superpower to "teach" students to use their platforms.

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